It appears that you were the culprit which caused my bowels to uprise and try to overthrow my body last night. Shame on you, Taco Bell, for inciting a full scale riot in my abdomen the likes of which have not been seen since the famous (or infamous) China Express incident of 1999 - a night which will surely go down in history.
And Taquitos, if you're reading this, I'm sorry I ever doubted your gooey center of chicken and cheese. I should've known you could never do such a thing. Our bond is too strong. I only hope it is strong enough to allow you to show me mercy.
Full of remorse,
Fu-Fu