the times they are a-changin'

This girl I work with wants me to father her a child. And she's pretty damn serious about it. She was supposed to come over at eleven this morning to "make a baby" but instead I told her I'd meet her for lunch at a crowded restaurant at noon.

I met her at this new Italian restaurant that, unbeknownst to me, had a rule that all customers dine by candlelight.

If I tried to think of something more uncomfortable than having an accidental candlelight dinner with a girl who is desperate for my sperm, It'd take a while. And it'd probably involve having something placed very firmly and completely into the deepest recesses of my rectum.

I admit the wine made me rethink my stance on rocking her, but I stood my ground.

And I'm having a hard time coping with the fact that I turned down sex.

That's never happened before. I've been the turndownee many many many many many many many times, but never the turndowner.

I'm getting old.

Addendum:
She's 34 and worried about her "clock." I'm not touting my sexual prowess or uncommonly good looks because I have neither.
I'm just saying.

September 22, 2001 | 8:22 p.m.

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