Often while sitting in my comfortable chair in my cozy little cubicle listening to my music and staring at my computer screen, I think to myself "Golly gee gosh dangit, Bradford.....look how beautiful it is out today. I sure wish we weren't stuck at this desk."
But then when I do work that involves anything more strenuous than sitting down and typing, I think to myself "I'M IN HELL! MY SKIN IS MELTING AWAY AND OOOOOHHHHH! WHAT DID I JUST STEP IN? OH PLEASE DON'T LET THAT HAVE BEEN ANYTHING THAT CAME OUT OF AN ANIMAL'S HINEY OOOOOOOHHHHH! IT IS! IT IS! THIS THING IS KIND OF HEAVY...NO YOU SWING YOUR END AROUND THAT WAY....NO THAT WAY...NOT TOWARDS ME! THAT WAY! OH SWEET LORD AND SAVIOUR PLEASE END THIS LIFE OF MINE NOW! STRIKE ME DOWN AT YOUR EARLIEST CONVENIENCE! OH CUBICLE OF MINE, HOW I LONG FOR YOUR CHEST HIGH WALLS OF BEIGE!"
Other than that, it's okay.
I found someone who can cut my hair the way I want it cut. After 27 years of suffering through so-called "hairstylists" whose handiwork usually ends up resembling something my four year old cousin could've done blindfolded with a plastic kitchen knife and a torch, I finally found someone.
And DAMMIT! if I haven't know her since the day she was born.
Life is cruel.