milk

I was just at the red light on my way home from work and this big semi came rolling by with the name Farmland Dairies on the side.

And on the back it said 100% REAL COWS MILK

WHAT? If they have to advertise themselves as 100% real cows milk, then what in the fuck have I been drinking? I mean, for them to advertise themselves like that, it implies that other dairies use, i don't know, like 90% cows and 10% geese. Or maybe badgers. Or chipmunks. Or flies. Hell, I'll make a list of all the possible animals that I could've drank milk from:

ants
kangaroo
large mouth bass
st. bernard
mule

Okay, the list has begun to bore me. The point is...I'm repulsed.

This is the day I either give up on milk altogether, or switch to the rich, creamy 100% cow goodness that can only be found in cartons of Farmland Dairies milk. You can mark it on your calendar, yo!

In non-dairy news, the more I read this diary, the more I wish I could be one of his super cool friends. Or maybe one of his super foxy coworkers. Either way, it'd be super. My subtle point is this: GO READ HIS DIARY AND LAUGH OUT LOUD AT HIS SITCOM-LIKE ANTICS!

I got a Google hit today for "kittycats"

Awwwwwwwww.

November 16, 2001 | 4:28 p.m.

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