thomas edison got no game

There have been a lot of inventions in the past thousand years that have made a great impact on our way of life. The lightbulb. The steam engine. The Wonderbra. The whoopie cushion. Blunts. The blow-up doll. But last night I came across something which has the ability to surpass all of the above.

Kraft Easy Mac.

Hot damn that shit was easy! And tasty! I�m gonna have to run out when I get paid and buy lots of it. So much that I�ll eat nothing but and develop a tapeworm like on that Kids in the Hall skit.

I won�t put ketchup on them though.

Something is inherently wrong with people who put ketchup on mac and cheese. They both frighten and enthrall me.

Much like clowns do.

I once knew this guy Casey who was deathly afraid of clowns and dolls. One night when he was sleeping we laid an old Bozo the clown ventriliquist doll beside him and one of my friends got beside his bed with his arm up in it and went:

�Casey. Casey (in a spooky voice), I�ve come to eat your balls! Woooooooooooo�..�

And he jumped up and screamed like a four year old girl and fell off his bed and landed on his neck.

To this day it is one of my fondest memories.

December 13, 2001 | 12:38 p.m.

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