1) Dippin' Dots
2) Sushi
3) Used condom
But today my curiosity and my surroundings got the better of me and not only did I eat two of the above items, I also enjoyed one of them immensely.
First off....I had never even heard of Dippin' Dots until I saw an episode of Unwrapped and I turned to my special lady and said "Whasthat?" and she said they had one in Crossroads Mall.
So today we found ourselves in the vicinity of Crossroads Mall and I started jumping up and down begging for Dippin' Dots.
Long story short...I bought some shoes, my wife bought two pair of shoes, and we went to Dippin' Dots and I got some and I thought they tasted like manure.
So on the way home I was thinking 'bout where we could grab some lunch and I remembered reading a review of a sushi place right close to our house and I said "Let's get some sushi," and she said "Word," and the next thing I knew I was looking at a sushi menu for the first time ever.
I got something called Rainbow which was just avocado, cucumber, and crab salad in a roll covered with rice and some fish pieces on top. And when I took a bite it was all I could do to keep from crying out "SWEET PICKLES BUS THIS SHIT IS GOOD!"
So instead I just whispered it to Cristi over the table.
I thought the green stuff was a bit much though and didn't eat another bite after the first one. And I used chopsticks like a fucking Iron Chef. I could give lessons in chopstickology at the local communtiy college if there was such a need.
I know sushi and chopsticks and Dippin' Dots are all old hat and so 1999 but I grew up in south and middle Georgia and we just didn't have that shit there.
So fuck you, sushi snob.
And fuck Dippin' Dots.
Next week I'm gonna try a used condom sorbet down in the whore district of town.
I hope my little Looney Tunes snowcone maker that my friend Stewart got me for Christmas last year can rip through latex as easily as it does ice.