new cobweb summer

I've been doing a lot of reading lately on account of my being required to take a 45 minute lunch and two 20 minute breaks each day.

Right now it's Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami. And then tonight I FINALLY got to get some more sushi. So my whole week has been Japanese. I kinda wanna go there and visit.

So in the book there's this one part where Midori tells Toru "I'm just kind of tired. Like a monkey in the rain," and when I read that I smiled.

I like when someone gives me a metaphor that not only have I never heard but also is the best way to describe something that's ever existed. Cause I've seen monkeys in the rain on TV and they look fucking exhausted! I'm all "Jeez Louise, monkeys, get some fucking sleep."

We went and had sushi with Dotti and Jeremy and they acted all tough and unfazed because they've been to Japan and reckon they are sushi experts. Jeremy was all "Yeah, well I know this much about sushi," and he held his arms spread real wide and then Dotti was all "Sheeeeeit! That ain't shit. I know this much about sushi," and spread both her arms and her legs real wide.

After the smell subsided we talked about people with really large bellybuttons and how mesmerising they are and how sometimes all you can think about is how fun it would be to shove your fist in their bellybuttonhole and turn it around and around inside it.

And we also spoke of the way bellybutton lint is ALWAYS blue.

I can wear white t-shirts for a month straight and STILL when I go to pick my bellybutton hair you'd think I just scalped a Smurf.

Today one of our cats, Foot Foot, threw up all in the hallway and it apparently scared her because she's never done it before so she ran from it. While she was running she was still throwing up everywhere and she slid in it. She turned our hallway into a cat slip n' slide.

I lied about Dotti and Jeremy's knowledge of sushi. They didn't really say those things.

They were way too fucking drunk to talk.

At one point I'm almost positive Jeremy offered me fellatio. I pretended like I thought he was talking about a character from Pinnochio cause it made me really uncomfortable and I had to find a quick way to change the subject.

I mean...my wife was right there!

COME ON!

Ask me sometime when she's not around, dumbass.

August 23, 2002 | 9:49 p.m.

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