rip-roaring adj. - to pay seven fucking dollars for one jumbo corn dog and and a 16 oz. soda and then sit on a wet spot on a park bench while eating it and wishing you had spent your lunch dollars on that delicious looking Indian Taco that your wife and mother-in-law are sharing and wondering if it'll look like you shit yourself when you stand up.
Speaking of shitting....I had a very pleasant bathroom experience today.
Charmin had this thing at the fairgrounds they had dubbed Pottypalooza and it was a whole mess of portable toilets. But these weren't just any portable toilets. NOSIREEBOB! These bitches had wallpaper, mirrors, hardwood floors, and NO ODOR!
There were even people standing at each door as you walked up to them saying "Right this way, Sir," and this one chick who was holding the rope at the front of the line was clapping.
She was clapping.
She was actually cheering people on as they walked into the stall to do whatever it is they had to do.
"YAY FOR PEE!"
"GIVE ME AN S! GIVE ME AN H!...."
You get the picture.
I've never had my own personal cheerleader glad that I was about to expel waste in her company's travelling toilets.
And I have to say I thoroughly enjoyed it.
I don't know if I'll ever be able to use a regular restroom again.
And I just know that sometime in the next couple of hours that five dollar foot-long corndog is decide it's gonna wanna come out and go swimming.
I hope my wife agrees to standing at the bathroom door and clapping while I walk in.
Oh please oh please.