Since no one knows I have started giving professional advice, no one has asked for any. So I went to some teen website and stole some reader's questions so I could then give the advice that they so very much need.
Dear Fu,
Since I was little I have found great pleasure in holding my vagina under running water. I always get an orgasm by doing this�is it normal?
Starrynite
Dear Starrynite,
That is so fucking hot! Will you send me some pictures?
Dear Fu,
Does weed make your testicles shrink?
stiffo
Dear Stiffo,
Yes, but it makes you feel real good and if you get a chick real fucked up on weed, maybe laced with some PCP, you will get laid. Plus, chicks don't care how tiny your balls are.
Dear Fu,
If I go to the gyno, can he tell if I masturbate? I just hump or rub myself and don't put anything in my vagina. Please help me! I'm so confused!
scared1405
Dear scared1405,
I once knew a girl who got a frozen hot dog broke off up inside her. Her name was Davina. She liked it until it broke, and then she got all scared and weepy.
Dear Fu,
My boyfriend's penis is one inch long when not erect. But when it erects it becomes about 5 inches long, is this normal for it to grow so much when it's so little?
allpindup
Dear allpindup,
Gross.
Dear Fu,
I heard that you could die from getting a hickey because you could get a blood clot, is this true? Plz help, thanks.
Blu_b
Dear Blu_b,
You're fucking dumb.
Dear Fu,
I heard that swallowing during oral sex can clear skin (acne and/or pimples)- is this true? what does ejaculate contain?
sophiel
Dear sophiel,
Yes it works. Tell all of your friends. Ejaculate contains a magic mineral that makes your boobs bigger and your ass hotter.
Dear Fu,
My butt is extremely hairy do all guys have hairy butts?
munkynz
Dear munkynz,
You're the only one. Girls hate you.
Dear Fu,
Can a boy sperm while he's peeing?
zazazoom
Dear zazazoom,
When my dad told me about the birds and the bees, I had one question for him: "What if I have to pee while I'm inside?" and he said "Go for it".
Dear Fu,
One day, when I woke up, I found some sticky liquid around my penis. I'm sure that it wasn't urine. What was it?
gwendolen
Dear gwendolen,
It was cum.
Dear Fu,
My boyfriend is all about my boobs. I hate that is the only thing he pays attention too. How do I tell him to notice me and not my breasts?
Dunno26
Dear Dunno26,
Say "Stop looking at my tits and I'll suck your dick"
Dear Fu,
Sometimes when I have sex there is a strange noise that sounds like a fart but it is not. Is that normal? What causes it?
Diplomat
Dear Diplomat,
This is called a queef and in the future your husband will laugh at you when it happens, but it won't be enough to make him stop.
I am now officially open to any and all questions.