my humorous body

Dear Tongue,

You are by far the most interesting part of my body. I could stand in front of the bathroom mirror for hours on end watching you writhe and flop around in my mouth.

Sorry, Penis. You were the first runner-up. There's no consolation prize, though. As a matter of fact, not only is there no consolation prize, but I plan on roughing you up later on. Yeah. I'm gonna beat the shit out of you right after I get through looking through the bra section of the JCPenney catalog.

Loser.

Randy,
Fu-Fu

August 25, 2001 | 3:57 p.m.

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