Here's the yang:
I just farted in my sleep and it stunk with such ferocity that it woke me up and brought tears to my eyes.
I had to get out of bed at 5:30 in the morning to write this down so I would always remember.
Once while riding in my car, my friend Scott farted so loud I thought either my tire blew or someone had snuck an old civil war cannon into my car and decided to light 'er up.
The next thing I know he's doubled over grabbing his ass with actual tears rolling down his face screaming "Oh shit! Oh shit! My ass is on fire!"
Apparently the loud fart slammed his spincter muscle together with great force - causing severe pain. He was in pain for at least ten minutes...crying and cursing the good name of what was up til then the coolest fart in recorded history.
I had to pull the car over to the side of the road to console him.
I'm gonna go lay back down now.