EMAIL ONE (to three coworkers)
subject: dots!
okay, which one of you sweetie pies left me five boxes of dots on my desk?
1) subject: RE:dots!
It wasn't me, honkie.
2) subject: RE:dots!
sorry i aint that sweet
3) subject: RE:dots!
IT WAS ME!
EMAIL TWO (to the two who weren't responsible)
subject: figures.
i shoulda known it wasn't you two stingy, selfish, uncaring, so-called friends. especially you, susan, you turd!
1) subject: RE:figures.
thank you too brad
2) subject: RE:figures.
When's the last time you brought us something? "MR. so-called friend"
3) subject: RE:figures.
YOU KNOW WHAT LAURIE YOU ARE SO CORRECT....I CAN REMEMBER JUST LAST WEEK I BEGGED THIS SO CALLED PERSON FOR A BANANA FLAVORED LAFFY TAFFY AND GUESS WHAT HE DID? WALKED AWAY.
EMAIL THREE (in which I get the final word)
subject: eat me
eat me!
There was no response.
I did, however, receive news later in the day that my name was now Stinky Wafflenose.
And my roommate's new name is Zippy Cootiebrain. And some of my other friends are now called Loopy Burgerlips, Chim-Chim Rhinolips, Crusty Diaperhiney, Snotty Pizzafanny, and Lumpy Diaperbiscuits.
Ah! The wonders of work email.
Today I received a check for twelve dollars from Phoebe Putney hospital.
I haven't been to Phoebe Putney Hospital in almost 28 years and that was when I was born.
So now I got twelve dollars and I don't know why. But I sure as hellfire ain't sending it back.
New underwear, HERE I COME!