where'd it go?

Oh my sweet lord this day is never going to end! I have never ever wanted to leave work more than I do right at this very moment. But I gotta stick around because I'm close to the airport and I have to pick up my mom at 4:30 from there and I sure as hell ain't driving all the way to Norman just to have to turn around and come right back. Funk that!

Earlier, like five minutes ago, I was flipping a marker in the air and catching it and for a second I thought "I smell cooter." So I sat real still seeing if I could catch the whiff again but nothing.

So I started flipping the marker and then I smelled cooter again. It turns out that this highlighter I have at my desk smells exactly like a woman's privatest of parts.

And markers aren't supposed to smell like that at all. I'm gonna have to take this up with the CEO of the Sanford Company, makers of the Accent Highlighter.

I'm gonna go bust up in his office and proclaim "MY MARKER SMELLS LIKE COOT! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!"

And he'll look up and smile at me sheepishly and in a barely audible voice he'll say "where the cheese at?" at which point I will sing "inside inside" and all the aforementioned odors will be forgotten and we'll fall on the floor immersed in the laughter only a pizza commercial can bring.

We might become intimate but that's not really the point of the story.

The point is I love that commercial. That's all I was really getting at.

May 24, 2002 | 1:08 p.m.

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