1) mowing wet grass barefoot in your pajama pants, while convenient, does not exactly make for easy clean up.
2) fireworks are more enjoyable when shot straight up into the air rather than with the person who lit it running away screaming "oh shit! oh shit!"....it's like playing spin the bottle except rather than the possibility of a blow-job in a dark closet there's a chance of a flaming ball in the eye
3) chinese firework manufacturers love the term "flaming balls"
4) kitten farts smell far worse than their human counterparts. and you can have one for your very own just by squeezing it in the right place or by startling it.
5) a roast cooked slowly in a crock pot is the closet thing one can come to ecstasy legally.
6) the mr. show dvd is the single best dvd ever released.