corn

I been blowing mauve colored snot all over the place since Thursday. Maybe Friday. One of 'em. Who cares?

The point is snot isn't supposed to be a nice shade of purplish-red. It's supposed to be snot colored. This West Nile is a bitch.

I'm gonna try and go back to work tomorrow. I've been sitting on my ass all weekend long blowing my nose, coughing, shitting, eating, drinking, shooting the H, killing hookers, and wishing I was Al Green.

Oh, and I watched the OU/Alabama game.

Fucking Alabamans. Not a good one in the lot.

And now my special lady is sick. She's been complaining all damn day. "Goddamn you son of a bitch. You made me sick with all your purplish-red snot and your whooping cough. Now go make me a fucking samwich! And cut off the crust!""

She's so demanding.

My lawn now reaches just above my knee when I walk into it. And the other day I followed a Leprechaun into the backyard but he lost me in the weeds. I was gone last weekend and what with the West Nile I had this week I haven't had time to mow. I wonder if I keep on letting it grow if it'll sprout corn.

Corn.

I love corn.

A yard full of corn would be heaven.

Especially if it was Green Giant Shoepeg White Corn in Butter Sauce.

September 08, 2002 | 8:44 p.m.

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