This morning, for example.
This morning I was so sexy that if I was a horse and broke my leg they'd have to make a special kind of glue out of me called Sexy Glue. And this glue would only be used as the adhesive that holds maxipads to the inside of panties.
I was THAT damn sexy.
"But, Fu-Fu....why would you wanna be there?" you might be asking.
The answer is "I don't know." I'm just hard pressed to think of any other use for such sexy glue.
The other day when we were in the car and I belched quite violently and vehemently I thought "Uh-oh...my wife is gonna fall out of love with me if I continue to be so rude," so I turned to her and said "Why did you ever marry me?"
To which she replied without skipping a beat "Sex any time I want it and decreased cost of living."
It was the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me.
Well, except for that time I was at the zoo and one of the zookeepers came running at me with a cattle prod screaming "ONE OF THEM'S ESCAPED! IT'S THE UGLY ONE! BRING THE TARP! NOT SO MUCH TO ACT AS A HUGE NET BUT, RATHER, SO NO ONE HAS TO LOOK AT IT! WHAT A FINE MESS WE'VE GOTTEN OURSELVES INTO!"
I sent him flowers the next day.
And a bottle of Asti Spumante.
I've been listening to Leonard Cohen all day and, well first of all I have to say that if there is a better album out there than New Skin for the Old Ceremony I SOOOOO want to hear it, but what I'm getting at is how at the end of "Famous Blue Raincoat" from Songs of Love and Hate he says "Sincerely, L. Cohen" like he just finished writing a letter...........everytime I hear that I think "Ahhhhhhhhh"
So I shall end this entry in much the same manner.
But first I have some business to take care of.
I've been thinking about the sad state of comics ever since the other day when I happened across some and I started thinking "I could do that!"
The thing is I can't draw.
So if anyone out there who can draw wants to collaborate with me maybe we could get some long distance comic strip thing going.
First of all let me say this: No, I do not have any ideas and I don't think I have any particular genius to bring to the world of comic strips and it's not a lifelong dream of mine. I'm just willing to give it a shot that's all. It sounds like it could be fun.
If anyone is interested, please email me at [email protected] (or click on the smiling mailbox to your right) rather than leaving something in the guestbook.
Sincerely,
F. Fu