There was a picture of a roadside cow on the site that I could hit with a rock from my front porch if I was so inclined:
Once I licked her erotic concrete teat whilst in the midst of a drunken horny frenzy.
I had friends with me though. If I had snuck out one night and done that alone, you wouldn't be hearing about it because I wouldn't be admitting to it.
I never knew her name was Kadie, though. We just call her That Big Fucking Cow.