Speaking of, why in the name of all that's decent did that sniveling little sign-language fuck win? He was so goddamn ugly when he sang...like he'd been sucking on a persimmon.
A rotten persimmon that'd been soaking in a combination of lemon juice and vinegar.
And most importantly, one of our cats, Foot-Foot, has a better singing voice when she's trying to squeeze out an unbelievably gigantic and hardened cat-turd and it hurts her so much she has to meow in pain.
This has happened once.
But it was fucking beautiful compared to whatshisface. It brought tears to my eyes much like upon hearing Jeff Buckley's version of Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah.
But back to Law & Order...seriously. What the fuck is up? My wife would rather watch that damn show than watch me do the flashdance naked save for a well-placed argyle sock held tight with a friendship bracelet. Seriously.
Just last Sunday when they showed that new one that everyone was just dying to see I turned to her and said, "You know...if you forego the Law & Order tonight you just might get to see me naked. I'll do the sock trick (all sing-song like)" at which point she promptly went into a fit of dryheaving and upon recovering watched the show anyway.
DAMN YOU VINCENT D'ONOFRIO AND YOUR RUGGED GOOD LOOKS!!!!
DAMN YOU STRAIGHT TO HELL!!!